Crimson Shadows
by Shadow-Phoenix-Rider
Summary: Your past can sometimes cast a long shadow, as Akeelah Shepard finds out. Its worse when the shadows are red, and are ready to blackmail you as soon as your back is turned. Can she finally leave them behind? Turns out there's more to the Sole Survivor of Akuze than meets the eye. T for violence and swearing/language. Contains mild f!Shenko.
1. Part 1: Confrontation

**Author's notes:** Sorry this took forever to turn up here. The Earthborn Shepard specific quest in ME1 was an interesting one, even though the various endings weren't particularly satisfying in my opinion. This is my take on my Shepard's version of that quest. Rated T for swearing and mentions of violence. There is a second part coming soon.

* * *

"I knew that shifty salarian was up to something!" Ashley said as she, Kaidan and Shepard walked out of the lower Wards market.

"I had a feeling scanning those keepers was going to go south along the way." Shepard replied. "I might be a Spectre now, but giving the Council a reason to doubt the assignment is not gonna be helpful when we need to catch Saren."

"Bit of a shame we won't be able to learn anything more about the keepers though." Kaidan said. "They were already supposed to be here when the asari found the place, right?"

"Maybe, but we won't have the luxury of history research if Saren finds these Reapers." The Commander pointed out as they stepped into the dimly lit alleyways of the Wards. "Anyway, I'm going to stop this cold. It's been nothing but trouble."

"Understood, Commander." Kaidan said softly, glancing warily down the corridor. They'd been ambushed here before when they were heading to Chora's Den to wrestle information out of the scumbag that was Harkin, and it was not an event he wished to respect.

They noticed the man hanging out by the turning to the club, but didn't pay much attention to him until he spoke.

"They told me it was you, but I didn't believe it." Shepard stopped dead in her tracks. "Looks like the Shark became a soldier when she ran off."

Shepard turned around to face the man, and Kaidan noticed she was as coiled as a spring, ready for anything.

"Finch," she said, her voice almost utterly devoid of warmth. Ashley shifted, checking her sidearm.

"Oh, so you do remember me?" Finch's brows lifted. "Do you remember running in the Tenth Street Reds gang too? None of the vids mention it when they're talking about you."

"My history's on public record." Shepard replied. "It's behind me now."

"Really? What if someone gave an interview talking about Commander Shepard's history in gangs?" Finch said.

"Get to the point." Shepard growled. Ashley looked ready to inject her own remark along similar lines, but Kaidan shook his head. It seemed better to keep out of it, at least for now.

"We're not trying to cause you trouble, 'Shepard'." Finch crooned. "We just want a favour, for old time's sake."

"What makes you think you have the right to ask that of me?" Shepard said, and the sentinel realized she was clenching her fists.

"What happened last time was an unfortunate misunderstanding." Finch said. "And we'd like to begin to make amends with you, if you just do one small thing for us first. To see if you want it." Kaidan looked to Ashley, who raised an eyebrow. "See, one of the boys, Curt Weismann, got picked up by the turians." Finch continued. "We'd just like for you to talk to the turian guard in the bar and get him out. He's got white facepaint, called Marnie, Marcus, something like that."

"Marnus?" Kaidan suggested. Finch nodded.

"Yeah, that's it." He waved a hand dismissively.

"You better not be asking me to-" Shepard began, but the Red interrupted her with:

"No, we wouldn't ask for a jailbreak, Sha- Shepard. But word has it you've got some pull with the aliens. All we're asking you to do is pull a little for us."

Ashley was about to blurt something out (that Kaidan was fairly sure was the same as what he was thinking, but figured it was better off not saying), when Shepard moved. She lashed out, grabbing Finch by his shirt and pulling him up close to her face, teeth bared in a snarl.

"My gang days are over, Finch. Leave me alone." She pushed him back into the wall, letting him go. Her squadmates quickly dropped their hands to their sidearms, ready in case he retaliated.

He didn't, however, although he gave Shepard a dark glare.

"You've still got your teeth, Shark," he said. "Suit yourself. You know where that turian will be if you change your mind." Finch pushed himself back up, staring the soldier right in the eyes. "You might not run in the Reds any more, 'Shepard', but you really don't want us as your enemies. Just know that if you take care of this, you'll never see me again." And with that, he slunk back into the shadows of the alleyway.

There was a couple of seconds of silence before Ashley cried:

"That no good son of… Who does he think he is, thinking he can push you around, Skipper?" Silence. "Shepard?" The younger woman glanced to her Commander's face, to find it cold and stone-like, staring furiously ahead to where Finch had disappeared. There was a very slight tremble to her body, as if she was trying not to shake with rage.

"Shepard?" Kaidan asked softly.

"I'm going to put an end to this right now." The Spectre said, so quietly the biotic barely heard it, but he could hear the fury crackling beneath it.

Abruptly, she moved, turning on her heel towards Chora's Den and started off at a quick march that had them hurrying to keep up.

She stopped a little way before the club, however, looking at Kaidan in askance.

"Okay to go in?" She said, though the usual caring warmth to the question was gone. Kaidan missed it keenly.

"Board's green, Commander." He replied. He was probably going to regret it later, but he didn't want to trouble his team mates, especially now.

Shepard gave a curt nod, before pushing into the bar, the krogan bouncers merely nodding as she passed them.

Chora's Den was subdued, as it wasn't peak hours yet, and only one inquiry to the barman as to the location of their turian guard was needed to pinpoint him in a private room. Shepard made her way to the room as if she was just meeting a friend, Kaidan and Ashley trailing behind her whilst keeping wary eyes on the people they passed.

Marnus looked up as Shepard approached him, mandibles twitching.

"The human Spectre," he said. "Can I help you?"

"Thought I'd help you instead." She replied. "A human called Finch approached me and wanted me to use my authority as a Spectre to free Curt Weismann."

"The xenophobe?" The turian's mandibles opened with surprise. "I should have known he'd have friends. Thank you for the information. We'll increase the guard on his cell."

"Shepard, we've got trouble." Ashley spoke up, and the Commander turned to see Finch marching over, Kaidan and Ashley closing ranks beside her.

"I knew that incident wasn't a fluke!" He cried. "I had a feeling you'd rat us out. Now it's payback time, and when we're done, all the aliens will know what the first human Spectre really is."

"What, that I was a poor kid on Earth who ran in gangs? My bio is public record." Shepard said, with considerable frustration.

"They don't know that the Reds target aliens specifically." Finch grinned. "Your alien friends won't like you so much when they hear what your gang did."

The colour drained from Shepard's face and her green eyes widened, Kaidan witnessing her brief shock before she became furious.

"That's why you targeted that shop! You fucker! You, you-" She clenched her fists tight. "But that's when I left. I wasn't around for your human-first douchebaggery."

"You think the vids'll make that distinction?" Finch sneered. "I can find a dozen Reds who'll swear they saw you kill aliens for fun. Who's going to believe you then?"

"You're bluffing. I never did that and you know it."

"It's been a long time since you left, Shark. We've expanded, and we've got the backers to handle offworld missions now. What you think your friends remember and what they actually do is completely different."

"You bastard!" Ashley yelled, Shepard raising a hand to quiet her, though Kaidan could see the Commander was thinking along similar lines herself.

"What's the point of this, Finch? What do you want? What gets you out of my life?" Shepard cried.

"What do I want?!" Finch roared. "I want aliens off Earth. I want the Council to stay out of humanity's business!"

"Never going to happen." Kaidan spoke. "Now we've met the other people in the Milky Way, we can't put our fingers in our ears and pretend they're not there."

Finch rounded on the biotic.

"You an alien lover too?! Figures you'd work with xeno-fuckers after what you pulled, Shark," he said, stepping closer.

"You leave my crew out of this!" Shepard spat, intercepting him. "Your beef is with me, even if my lieutenant is pointing out the bullshit in your argument."

"Oh how very noble, leaping to their defence. When are you going to throw them under the shuttle for your alien friends, like you did with us?"

"You deserved it, what you were going to do to her!" Shepard shot back. "What is this proving, Finch? I left that life long ago!"

"You never leave the life!" He almost screamed. "If you won't help us, we'll drag your name through the dirt! Your alien friends will revoke your Spectre status. You'll be nothing!" He managed to regain some composure after his tirade. "Unless you're willing to pay, say, 1,000 credits."

"You're nothing but scum." Ashley growled, hand going to her sidearm once more.

"Hold it, Chief." Kaidan said. "Remember we don't have Spectre jurisdiction right now." Seeing Finch's smug smile, he added: "Though I wish we did."

Shepard took a breath to calm herself.

"Finch, if you want humanity to be strong, a smear attack on the first human Spectre is a bad idea. Lousy, even, she said.

"The Spectre is right." Marnus said from behind her. "This is humanity's chance to prove itself. There is even talk of earning a Council seat, if it goes well."

"Of course you'd side with Shepard!" Finch spat. "You want someone who's in bed with your kind!"

"We need the other races, Finch. The best way to strengthen humanity is to work with them, not against them!" Shepard argued.

There was a silence for a couple of seconds, the Spectre and the Tenth Street Red staring each other down before Finch spoke.

"You're not one of the Reds, Shark," he said. "As soon as you betrayed us in Hagley Road, you forfeited your right to be one. You know, maybe you never were."

"I was, when you embraced me and called me that name." Shepard said coldly. "Not when you decided to kill innocents, just because they were different."

"Of all the Spectres they could have chosen, and they chose an alien lover like you." Finch said. "A xeno-fucker. Fucking turian screwing bitch!"

He made a move for a weapon, but in one quick gesture, Kaidan trapped him in a Stasis field, Shepard and Ashley drawing their weapons so Finch was looking down the barrels. For the first time, the gang member showed genuine fear, glancing nervously at the sentinel that held him captive.

"Do you want to repeat that?" Shepard asked coolly. "And if you make a single comment about my lieutenant being a biotic, I will allow my gunnery chief here to do some target practice with soft parts of your anatomy."

"I didn't mean-" Finch blubbered.

"No, stop talking." Shepard interrupted, lowering her pistol and stepping forward to talk to him better. "I want you to leave, go back to the Reds and whoever put you up to this, and tell them that Shark no longer exists. It's just Shepard now. And if any Red dares come to blackmail stuff off me ever again, I will shoot them. No talking down, no mercy like I'm giving you, just a bullet in their head. That part of my life is over, do you understand?" Finch nodded vigorously. "Good that I can get that though your thick xenophobic skull." She stepped back, nodding to Kaidan. "Drop him."

The lieutenant did so unceremoniously, Finch scrambling to his feet.

"Now, get out!" The Commander barked, which set him falling over himself in his hurry to leave.

After a few moments, Marnus spoke again.

"You should have killed him, Spectre," he said.

Akeelah gave a long, hard sigh, almost seeming to deflate in front of them.

"Yeah, I should have done. But he's not worth the bullet," she said, her tone weary. The turian looked her over, mandibles twitching.

"Goodbye, human," he said. "It will be interesting to see what kind of Spectre you turn out to be." With that, he walked out of the room, leaving the three humans to themselves.

"Skipper? Are you alright?" Ashley asked.

"No." Shepard replied, shaking her head to dismiss any offers of help. "I'll be fine. Let's get back to what we were doing earlier, then go back to the Normandy." She began to move off. "I need to sit down."

"Aye aye, Commander." Kaidan said softly.


	2. Part 2: Explanation

Akeelah was more subdued after the encounter with Finch; she was good at hiding it when she was talking to Jahleed, but Kaidan could see the change. She just wanted to get to the Normandy and have some time alone; it was a feeling he knew well enough. Ashley sensed it too, and thus they peeled away from the Commander as soon as they were able to, to give her the space she needed.

They didn't see her for a while after that, only informed by message that they were leaving the Citadel to head to Edolus, in search of Admiral Kahoku's lost men, and somehow get answers to who that Banes man was.

Kaidan saw Shepard later, sitting in the corner by the terminal that stayed stubbornly broken despite his best efforts, nursing a cup of steaming liquid. She looked so miserable he decided to risk approaching her.

"Commander?" He asked. Shepard frowned and sighed crossly.

"Just Shepard right now, Alenko. I'm not in the mood," she said.

"Sorry, ma'am." Kaidan hesitated, trying to gauge her frustration level. "I can leave, if you want."

"If I didn't want human interaction, I'd still be in my cabin feeling sorry for myself." Shepard said, glancing up at her. He noticed the usual black mascara around her eyes was mostly gone, only traces left from where she'd missed wiping her eyes.

"Fair enough." Kaidan nodded, taking one of the seats aside from her. It directly faced the broken terminal, which he pointedly ignored. "Tea or coffee?"

"Hmm?" She gave him a perplexed look.

"Tea or coffee?" He repeated, pointing at the cup she held in her hands. She looked down at it for a moment before she realized what he was asking.

"Oh! It's…" She frowned at it, popped the lid off and sniffed. "It's tea. Didn't think coffee would help."

"You like both?" Kaidan asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah. Don't like black coffee, though." She narrowed her eyes as he tutted. "Oh, have I fallen in your esteem now?"

"No, ma'am. I'm only slightly disappointed." The biotic replied, smiling.

"I'll take what I can get." Shepard said. There was a pause. "Especially since you had to witness that debacle."

"You did the right thing." Kaidan said.

"Did I? Finch is still out there. The Reds…" She covered her face with her hand, breathing out sharply. "Fuck. I should have known."

Kaidan said nothing, unsure what to do. He shouldn't pry into what was clearly a less than stellar part of her life, but he couldn't shake his curiosity to know more about Shepard.

"If you want to talk about it," Kaidan began, choosing his words with care, "then I'm happy to listen. Ma'am."

Shepard gave him a look he couldn't decipher.

"Only if you want to, though." He added quickly. Her expression didn't change, but something in her green eyes did.

"It's not a pretty story." She murmured.

"I guessed." Kaidan said, before he hurriedly added: "I mean, you didn't exactly greet that Finch guy as if he was your friend."

"He was, once." Shepard sighed. "At least, I think he was. I don't know any more."

"How did you meet him?"

"I met him when I joined the Tenth Street Reds. He wasn't a newbie, like I was, but he wasn't a vet either. We got along, but he was…" She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I should have seen the warning signs."

Kaidan shook his head.

"You were young, Shepard. Can't blame yourself for that."

"Maybe," she said, frowning thoughtfully. "Maybe…"

"Why'd he call you Shark? Was it a code name?" The sentinel asked.

"Yeah. When we became part of the gang, we were given a new street name. It made pinning crimes on us harder as we wouldn't give our real names to the rozzers-" Kaidan's brows furrowed.

"What?"

"Sorry, I mean, police. I was lucky never to get collared by them, but still. The street name was a protection in that respect." She shrugged.

"Why 'Shark', though?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard fidgeted with her cup for several long moments.

"I…Lets just say that it was no accident I was called that."

"Okay." The biotic nodded. The fact she'd taken up his offer to talk about her past was more than enough. He could understand her reticence to talk about the details. "What did you do as part of the gang?"

"Wore red clothes, stole things, scrapped with other gangs, usual gang stuff." Shepard said. "I spent most of my time on patrol, making sure our boundaries were marked. The city, Manchester, was rich, but its underbelly wasn't. Poor and dirty and the police rarely ventured into the deeper sectors."

"Manchester…They have the starship foundries there, right?"

"Yeah, but the pay is poor. They're only forging titanium plating and such, nothing big. It's not pleasant to live by, and the gangs flourish in the dark streets. It's better to be in a gang than be alone. When you're alone, you're a target, or not worth caring about."

"Safety in numbers." Kaidan nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't want to stay in gangs, but with no education, no parents, what could I do?" Shepard peered down at her cup. "When I realized I could join up, I leapt at the chance. I was lucky. It could have gone very badly for me."

"What happened?" Kaidan asked, watching her take a drink.

"I was told it was just going to be a shakedown. We were just going to be menacing at one of the shops nearby and they'd give us money to go away or as protection." Shepard said. "I was going to be there in case anything happened, and we needed to scrap with people. Couple of times shopkeepers hired bodyguards…" She shifted uncomfortably. "We didn't have many arms, so we kept the shotguns only for them." She shook her head, eyes closed. "The guys with the shotties were crazy. I think they liked the gore. But I…"

"You don't like to use your shotgun." Kaidan finished for her.

"Mmm." She hummed. "But that's not the story. Didn't take weapons for this one, just knives, knuckledusters, the usual. Got there a little later than the rest, and that's when I realized the mission wasn't normal." She crossed her ankles. "It was a new shop, one I'd noticed on my patrols. Normally the Reds would leave them for a bit, give them a rekkie before they'd start demanding money off them. But this one… I didn't realize why they struck so early until now."

"They weren't human." Kaidan murmured. Shepard nodded.

"I don't know what possessed them to start a shop there, but I guess the turian that owned it thought he could handle the gangs, or he just didn't understand what he was getting himself into. I don't know."

"Odd for them to settle on Earth." He commented, the soldier shrugging.

"Not my place to judge. When I got there, they'd done a number on him. Beaten him into a pulp, stolen everything they could get their hands on. I heard noises from upstairs, so I went to see what was going on." She took a measured breath in and out. "They'd cornered this turian, his daughter, and they were taunting her, shouting at her. God, Kaidan, she was only little, probably only eight or nine in human years, cowering in the corner. If turians could cry, she would have been bawling her eyes out. And the Reds, they just…"

"It's alright, Shepard. Take your time." Kaidan said, shifting closer to her.

"They were going to hurt her, this little girl, this child. Poor thing probably had seen her dad beaten, and they were going to hurt her, because she was different and couldn't defend herself. I could turn a blind eye to the dad, maybe, but not her."

"What did you do?"

"I yelled at them to stop. I wasn't a lieutenant, but most used to listen to me if I spoke. They didn't this time, though, told me it was just some fun. So I stood between them and her, told them I'd screw them up if they even touched her."

"Guess they didn't take too kindly to that." Kaidan said.

"No. They got angry and pushy, threatened me. They eventually attacked, when I refused to move. I was lucky they didn't pull their knives, because I doubt I would have lived through it otherwise. As it stood, I fended them off until someone clocked me in the side of the head, gave me a concussion. Whilst I was dizzy, they retreated, said they needed to get rid of the evidence. I didn't know what they meant until I smelt smoke."

The biotic's eyes widened.

"Wait, they set the place on fire? With you still in it?"

"I'm not sure if they wanted to kill me, but I'm sure they wanted to kill the turians, or at least wreck their lives." Shepard said. "And leave no traces."

"That's awful."

"Mmm. When I recovered enough of my wits, I grabbed the girl and ran for our lives out the door. The flames hadn't been burning for long, so I could run through them with only some singeing. I made sure that the flames got me instead of her, though she hung on for dear life."

"What about her dad?" Kaidan asked quietly.

"He called for help after he heard the commotion upstairs, so the emergency services managed to turn up and pull him out before he got roasted." The soldier said. "I didn't see him after I got out. I figured it was probably best I kept away. I might have saved his daughter, but in his eyes I was probably part of the gang that beat him up and threatened his daughter."

"What happened after the fire?" The sentinel asked.

"I got treated for the concussion, smoke inhalation, that sort of thing. I was expecting one of the rozzers- police to come and have a word with me, but instead it was a guy from the Alliance. We talked for a while, and he gave me the navy as a route out of gang life. I signed up as soon as I turned eighteen, which was a couple of days after." She gestured to herself. "And here I am now. First human Spectre with a head full of Prothean vision crap."

"Not just that, you're the Captain of the Normandy too. And an N7." Kaidan pointed out, which she waved away.

"Alright, alright, quit your flattering. I'm still just a street rat, underneath it all."

The sentinel shook his head,

"I respectfully disagree, ma'am."

Shepard gave him a lopsided smile.

"I'm starting to think your comment in the wards wasn't a one-off," she said.

Kaidan blinked widely, feeling heat rush into his face.

"W-What do you mean, Com- ma'am?" He stuttered, glancing at the terminal to escape her gaze.

"You insinuated that I was beautiful, Lieutenant." Shepard grinned, and a part of Kaidan was glad her good spirit had returned, even if she was deciding to tease him.

"Well, I, uh…" The biotic suddenly realized something and looked back to her. "Wait, I thought you didn't want to use titles right now?"

"Alright, _Alenko_ , fine." She pouted, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. He almost wanted to laugh at how cute she looked. "That doesn't mean I'm letting you go that easily, though!"

Of course she wasn't - she was having far too much fun. Besides, he was trying to ignore how good his rank and surname sounded from her mouth.

"Okay." He took a breath. "You are beautiful, Shepard. At least, I think so."

She chuckled.

"Even with this ugly thing?" She pointed to the long scar across her face, bisecting her nose.

"It's fine." Kaidan replied. "Eye-catching, maybe."

"Hah, that's putting it lightly." Shepard huffed, before she raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know you liked women with scars, Alenko."

"Adventurous women tend to have them," he said. "Can't be adventurous without getting a little banged up."

"Like your little scar there?" Shepard traced over her lips, mirroring the scar on his own lips. A part of him flared hot at the thought she'd been looking there, but it was tempered by memories of how he received it as he felt the puckered skin.

"Yeah. Something like that."

She looked thoughtful at his vague answer, before dropping it, returning to her cup.

"Aw shit, it's gone cold. Nevermind, I've got to see if Garrus is ready to come on the next mission. Figured he might feel a bit left out if I don't take him at all," she said, standing up.

"Sounds a good idea, Commander." Kaidan said, shifting his knees aside so she could get by. "Think he's gonna be up for a ride in the Mako?"

"My driving's not that bad, Lieutenant. Besides, the Mako likes to be driven like that. She likes to dance." Shepard retorted, passing him.

"You're sounding like Joker, ma'am." Kaidan smiled.

"Well, someone's got to stand up for the Mako, might as well be me."

"Fair enough." Just as Akeelah began to leave, a thought struck him. "Hey, Shepard?"

"Yes?" She turned to look at him.

"Who was the Alliance guy who found you?"

Shepard appeared to consider a moment, before she said:

"A guy called Anderson."


End file.
